Drabbles Babbles, and Blithers for the Derranged
by Eodaiya
Summary: Ed meets his number 1 fangirl. Ed and Al make toast! A wonderful fic about absolutley nothing, hilarious down to the disclaimer!
1. Blunderful Beginning

**I am ULTRAFIC! Here to bring you comedy, angst, yaoi, yuri, action, drama, fantasy, tragedy, dark, romance, and other good varieties of fanfic and/or songfic. However, the following anime-mangas do not belong to me-Fullmetal Alchemist. The previously stated anime-mangas belong to-Hiromu Arakawa. Please enjoy the-fanfiction and or songfiction and thanks for using favorite disclaimer since 2008. Brought to you by Lightning Briefs! NOTE-I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, 2008, or Lightning Briefs. I do however own ULTRAFIC, and if I see it on your fanfiction without permission from me, you are toast. I also do not own the ...for Idiots series, Fruits Basket, any characters beside Motoko. Raven is my sister. Ichigo is my friend. I do not own the Hanshin Tigers, either.**

Part 1-The Blunderful Beginning

**MOTOKO**-Hey kids! It's I, your humble author, here to tell you to go back and read that disclaimer. Already did? READ IT AGAIN! This is my first fic, so please don't throw bricks through my window or steal my fresh fruit just yet. If you really don't like it, please rate it, review, and tell me **why.** That's the 3 first steps to making a better fic-RRW, rate, review, why. Why don't you start by telling me what you thought of this message and disclaimer, eh?

**RAVEN-**Eh? Who says 'eh' anymore?

**ICHIGO-**It was...weird.

**MOTOKO-**...

**ROY-**It was good, but how come you didn't mention me?

**MOTOKO- **I did. (points to words Fullmetal Alchemist) See?

**EDWARD-** _I'm_ the Fullmetal Alchemist!

**MOTOKO-** I thought he was the Fullmetal Alchemist (points at Al)

**ROY-** But you just said you thought I was the Fullmetal Alchemist.

**MOTOKO-** Fullmetal Alchemist? I thought that was just a figure of speech.

**EDWARD-** I'M THE FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST!

**MOTOKO-** They let someone as short as you into the military?

_(Edward picks up Al's head and throws it at Motoko)_

**ALPHONSE-**My head...

**MOTOKO-** Hey! How dare you throw the Fullmetal Alchemist's head! (to Al) I am so sorry sir! (picks up head) Wait...you don't have a head! So you must be...

**EDWARD-** I think she's beginning to understand now.

**MOTOKO-** You must be the Flame Alchemist, Roy Mustang!

**ROY-** No, I'm the Flame Alchemist, Roy Mustang.

**ROY FANGIRLS-** He's so charming!

**MOTOKO- **So..who's the Fullmetal Alchemist...(points at Raven) Is it you?

**RAVEN-** I'm your Oneechan, baka.

**EDWARD-** IM THE FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST!

**MOTOKO-** Pipe down, pipsqueak. I'm tryin' to solve a mystery, here!

**EDWARD- WHO YOU CALLIN' SO SMALL YOU NEED A MICROSCOPE TO SEE! I'LL RIP OFF YOUR LEGS AND STICK 'EM ON YOUR HEAD!**

**ALPHONSE-**Brother, she didn't say anything like that.

**MOTOKO-** I didn't?

**EVERYONE- **...

**MOTOKO- **Oh...I didn't! Let's see... (picks up Fullmetal Alchemist for Idiots) According to this...the Fullmetal Alchemist, Edward Elric...

**EDWARD-** ...yes...

**MOTOKO-** Is dead!

_(eerie silence)_

**RAVEN- (**crickets crickets)

**EDWARD- **Uhh...

**MOTOKO-** Ohh...this is a Fullmetal Alchemist fanfiction!

**EVERYONE-** YES!

**MOTOKO-** So who's the Fullmetal Alchemist?

**ALPHONSE-** (points at Ed) He is.

**MOTOKO- **Really? Cool. Why didn't anyone tell me the first time I asked?

**EDWARD-** I DID!

**MOTOKO-** Yes, but you see, according to the Fullmetal Alchemist for Idiots book I am an Alphonse Elric fangirl, so I actually listen to him!Yaaaay!

_(Motoko hugs Al)_

**MOTOKO-** Ow! Steel hurts!

**RAVEN-** Let me see that book. Hmm...it says here that I am an Ed fangirl. It goes on to say that there are an estimated 1million Ed fangirls throughout the known world

_((that would be an educated guess by your author...if I was educated. So it's just a normal guess))_

_(Raven jumps at Ed)_

**RAVEN-** Wheeeeeeeeeee!

_(Raven chases Ed around the studio)_

**MOTOKO-** No! Stop! I rented out this place to write my fics! I just paid my last payment and have my insurance application in my hand right now! Because I haven't mailed it yet! So I'm not insured!

**ICHIGO-** (picks up book and hits Raven on head) I don't need a book to tell me that I'm a fangirl! I LOVE YOU KYO!

_(mysterious angry-looking orange cat walks by)_

**ICHIGO-** KYO!

_(Ichigo chases orange cat around studio)_

**MOTOKO-** INSURANCE! AS IN, NONE!

_(orange cat disappears)_

**ICHIGO- **I think he changed back...

**EDWARD- **Changed back! Into what?

**ICHIGO-**A person!

**EDWARD- **Is anyone here not a fangirl?

_(Ed, Al, and Roy raise hands)_

**RAVEN-** Well, that's a big relief.

**MOTOKO-** Yeah.

**ICHIGO- **Sure is.

_(Roy puts hand down)_

_(everyone turns to stare at Roy)_

**ROY-** What? ...WHAT!

**MOTOKO- **I am suddenly filled with eerie questions...

_(eerie music sounds)_

**MOTOKO- **I DIDN'T SAY EERIE MUSIC CUE!

_(eerie music stops)_

**MOTOKO-** Well, since 2/3 of the fangirls here destroyed my rental, I say we destroy the paperwork that proves I was ever here to avoid all collateral damage costs!

**ICHIGO-** Aye!

_(next shot is Motoko, Raven, Ichigo, Al, Ed, and Roy walking into the sunset. Dramatic, eh? Suddenly, Motoko falls over knocking everybody except Roy Mustang into a nearby stream. No, Roy continues walking like he's in some sort of fancy shampoo comercial)_

**MOTOKO-** Awaaaaah!

**BYSTANDER #1-** What happened?

**BYSTANDER #2- **Did the Hanshin Tigers win or something?

**EDWARD- **ROY MUSTANG...! I KNOW THIS WAS YOUR FAULT!

**MOTOKO-** No, it was my fault.

End of chapter 1-The Blunderful Beginning

**Conspiracy alert-I have been charged with attempts to own Alphonse Elric, conspiracy to attempt to own Alphonse Elric, and jay-walking. But I have never tried (or made a conspiracy to try) to own Fullmetal Alchemist, because if I do, the rightful owner Hiromu Arakawa will beat me up after band practice. I also do not own eBay.**

Part 2- Terrible Toaster

_(Edward is trying to master the art of toast making. Because Fullmetal Alchemist takes place around 1910-1920, toasters have not yet been invented where he comes from.)_

**EDWARD-** Damn this thing! How do I get the toast out! It's really hot!

_(Edward shoves fork into toaster slot to try and pull toast out)_

**MOTOKO-** Edward! You should never shove a fork into a toaster! Forks go into electrical sockets, you use a butter knife for toasters!

**EDWARD-** Why's that?

**MOTOKO- **Because the electricity particles from the wires in the toaster are conducted by the metal of the fork, the fork acting as a sort of bridge between the electrons and your hand, will travel up through the metal fork and electrically shock you.

**EDWARD-** Okay...but why would a butter knife be any different?

**MOTOKO-** Duh. Because butter knives are made out of butter, not metal. Everyone knows that.

**EDWARD- **So then how do I get it out?

**MOTOKO-** Sometimes I just quickly reach my hand in and pull the toast out.

**EDWARD-** Okay...I could try that...

_(Edward puts his metal arm in toaster)_

**MOTOKO-** NO! YOU FOOL!

_**BOOM.**_

**EDWARD-** OOOOW!

**MOTOKO-** See. I told ya. I says "Don't put metal in the toaster" and you go and put your METAL arm in the toaster. While it was still on. Why was it still on?

**ALPHONSE-** Brother? Are you okay? I heard a crash in here.

_(Edward now has animated hi-lighter yellow style lightning bolts zapping off his automail arm)_

**EDWARD-** Yeah...I'm fine. It kinda burns, though. Maybe if I put water on it...

**MOTOKO-** I would highly advise against that.

**ALPHONSE-** What were you two doing in here, anyway?

**MOTOKO- **We were trying to make toast...but we can't get the bread out of the toaster. Can you help? But don't put your hand in the toaster, because metal makes toasters mad.

_(Al pulls up the little lever on the side of the toaster that makes the toast come up higher and pulls the toast out.)_

**ALPHONSE-** Here.

_(Al hands toast to Ed)_

**EDWARD- **How'd you do that?

**ALPHONSE- **It's not that hard.

**EDWARD-** (To Motoko) Why didn't you tell me you could do that?

**MOTOKO- **You never asked.

_(Edward attacks Motoko)_

**EDWARD- **HYYYYYYYYYYA!

**MOTOKO- **YAAAAAA!

_(Motoko jumps on oven)_

_(Raven, Ichigo, and Roy enter kitchen)_

**RAVEN-** What happened here?

**MOTOKO-** The toaster attacked Ed and then Ed attacked me.

**ICHIGO-** So...you were just making toast?

**RAVEN-** SACRED TOAST! IF EDWARD MADE THIS TOAST, THAN IT IS THE MOST SACRED OF GRAIN PRODUCTS! NOBODY TOUCH THIS TOAST!

**EDWARD- **But...it's my toast...

**RAVEN- (**HIIIIIIIIISSSS) NOBODY TEARS ME AND MY EDWARD APART! NOT EVEN EDWARD!

_(Ed jumps on oven with Motoko.)_

_(Motoko jumps off oven)_

**ICHIGO-** Wait! How many fangirls did you say Ed has?

**RAVEN-** (Checks previous chapter) About...oh,... exactly 1million.

**ICHIGO-** We could sell this piece of toast on for a million dollars!

**RAVEN- **NEVER!

**MOTOKO- **I know! We could genetically altar the toast's DNA and make an army of raidoactive toast!

**RAVEN-** That's the stupidest idea yet!

**ICHIGO-** Kinda is...

_(Ichigo, Motoko, and Raven begin to argue over wether to put the toast up for sale on eBay, make a shrine with it, or make an army of radioactive toast monsters)_

**ALPHONSE-** Uh...

**RAVEN AND ICHIGO AND MOTOKO-_ (HIIIIIIIISSSSS!) YOU THREE STAY OUT OF THIS!_**

**MOTOKO- **_(puts on helmet) _Yaaaay! (hugs Al)

**EDWARD-** IT'S MY TOAST!

**RAVEN-**I LOVE THIS TOAST!

**ICHIGO-**eBAY!

**MOTOKO- **GENETIC MONSTERS!

**EVERYONE ELSE- **NO!

_(arguing comtinues)_

_(Roy Mustang, who has not said anything this whoooooooooole time, picks up toast and eats it.)_

**ROY- **Good toast.

**EDWARD- **MY TOAST!

**RAVEN- **MY LOVE!

**ICHIGO- **MY MONEY!

**MOTOKO- **MY MUTANTS!

**ALPHONSE-** My sanity...


	2. The The Horrifing Hotsprings

**DISCLAIMER-Arakawa-sama owns FMA, not you, not I, and not that hobo who lives down your street who is currently trying to break into your house and steal your refridgerator. I suggest you go tend to that matter before you read the rest of this fanfic, nay, the rest of this disclaimer. After all, you wouldn't want me-ah...I mean him to make off with all of your fresh fruit now would you? I also do not own People Magazine, Harry Potter, Gameboy...or the very nice video game Fullmetal Alchemist and the Broken Angel. I have played it. It is fun, go buy it.**

Part 3-The Austure Airport 

_(Motoko bursts through door)_

_(Everyone turns to stare at Motoko)_

**MOTOKO- **Guess who just won free tickets to an onsen in Hokkaido!

**RAVEN-** Did you?

**MOTOKO-** Let me check...Checks paper in hand Yeah! Yipee!

**ICHIGO-** Onsen...that's a hotspring, right?

**MOTOKO-** You are correct.

**RAVEN-** Hokkaido is famous for it's beautiful hotsprings.

**MOTOKO-** Even though northern Hokkaido is one of the most coldey places in the world!

**RAVEN-** You know, it's been really quiet in that half of the room. points to Ed, Al, and Roy

_(Roy is reading People magazine, Al is reading Harry Potter, Ed is playing Fullmetal Alchemist and the Broken Angel on a Gameboy)_

**RAVEN-** HEY! Takes gameboy from Ed and throws it into a wall

**EDWARD-** Hey! I was playing that.

**RAVEN-** WELL, SPARE YOURSELF THE VIRTUALITY AND GO KILL SOME REAL CHIMERAS!

**ICHIGO-** Aren't any of you guys excited about going to Japan?

**ALPHONSE-** Where's that?

**MOTOKO-** Wait, these people are all from the anime Fullmetal Alchemist, right?

**RAVEN-** Yeah.

**ICHIGO-** Yep.

**MOTOKO-** Which was made in Japan...

**EDWARD-** I don't get it.

**ICHIGO-** Well, I guess that means you were all really born in Japan.

**EDWARD-** No. I was born in Resembool, Al was too.

**ROY-** I was born in Central.

**ICHIGO-** So they don't understand what the concept of anime is...

**MOTOKO-** Looks that way.

**ICHIGO-** Well, should we tell them that they're fictional people?

**EDWARD-** I still dont underst-

**RAVEN-** EVERYBODY GET IN THE CAR!

**ICHIGO-** Works for me.

**MOTOKO-** Ditto.

**ICHIGO-** Hey, Raven, why didn't you tell them that they're fictional?

**MOTOKO- **Yeah, it would've been fun to watch...a little.

**RAVEN-** _(gently) _I didn't wanna hurt their self esteem.

**ICHIGO-** Yeah, and therapy bills are expensive.

**RAVEN- ** Speaking of expense...

**ICHIGO-** Did you ever pay the bills to that writing studio you rented, Motoko?

**MOTOKO-** Uhhh...what writing studio? Burns chapter 1 in garbage can

**EDWARD-** Come on you guys!

**RAVEN-** Uh...okay!

**ICHIGO-** Weird.

**MOTOKO-** What?

**ICHIGO-** Raven yells at us for hours but she can hardly say 2 words to Ed.

**MOTOKO-** I never knew her to get shy.

**EDWARD-** LET'S GO ALREADY!

_(At the airport)_

_(walking through the metal detector)_

_(Edward walks through the metal detector.)_

_**METAL DETECTOR BEEPS.**_

**EDWARD-** Oh. That's just my arm and leg. They're metal.

**AIRPORT DRONE-** I see that, but you'll have to get that checked more thoroughly. Please go over there.

**EDWARD-** Okay.

_(Edward goes over there)_

_(Roy walks through metal detector)_

_**METAL DETECTOR BEEPS.**_

**ROY-** Oops. Sorry _(pulls out pocket watch)_

_(Roy walks through detector again)_

_**METAL DETECTOR DOES NOT BEEP.**_

_(Ichigo walks through metal detector)_

_**METAL DETECTOR BEEPS.**_

**ICHIGO-** pulls out pocket watch

_**METAL DETECTOR DOES NOT BEEP.**_

**MOTOKO-** Where'd ya get that?

**ICHIGO-** Online.

**EDWARD- OOOOOOWWWW!**

_(Edward had to take off his arm and leg.)_

**ALPHONSE-** Is that really necessary?

**AIRPORT DRONE-** Yes. We suspect he was hiding drugs in his arm.

**ALPHONSE-** I really doubt that.

_(Motoko walks through metal detector)_

_**METAL DETECTOR DOES NOT BEEP.**_

_(Raven walks through metal detector)_

_**METAL DETECTOR BEEPS.**_

**ICHIGO-** Why'd it beep?

_(Raven pulls out pocket watch)_

**RAVEN-** This thing.

**MOTOKO-** Where'd you get yours?

**RAVEN-** I dunno, some guy dropped it.

_(Meanwhile..)_

**EDWARD-** Hey! Where's my watch...?

_(Al walks through metal detector)_

_**METAL DETECTOR BEEPS**_

**AIRPORT DRONE-** Sir, please remove your armour.

**ALPHONSE-** Uhh...I...can't.

**AIRPORT DRONE-** I'm sorry, I can't let you through until the metal detector doesn't beep.

_(Al walks through the detector again for some unknown reason)_

_(Al is too tall and his head falls off)_

**AIRPORT DRONE- ** THIS DOES NOT COMPUTE! THIS DOES NOT COMPUTE!

_(Airport Drone's head explodes)_

**RAVEN-** I knew it! Pay up!

_(Motoko hands Raven $5)_

**ALPHONSE-** My head! This is the second time in 3 chapters!

_(Al re-attatches his head)_

**BYSTANDER #2-** AAAHH! Somebody call the FBI!

**MOTOKO-** Al! Run to the airplane terminal! Or...um...Ed-you can hop there, right?

**EDWARD-** No!

_(Motoko hits Edward on his head and knocks him out)_

**ROY-** ...

**MOTOKO- **KILL ALL WITNESSES!

_(Motoko hits Roy on his head and knocks him out as well)_

_(Ed, Al, Motoko, Ichigo, Roy, and Raven make it on the plane. Only Al can't fit through the door so he has to stay with the luggage and stuff under the plane. Raven, who carried Ed to the plane terminal dropped Ed into the control board and almost destroyed the plane.Nobody knew what happened there, except one paranormal photographer who nobody believes anyway. So, I guess they'll make it to Hokkaido in the next chapter...)_

End of Part 3- The Austure Airport

**Listen up-Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me. It belongs to Hiromu Arakawa, BONES, and Aniplex. I own the anime Completesteel Chemist. I also do not own Invader Zim, which I take a few lines from. I also do not own the following things-Dance Dance Revoloution, Moolight Shadow by Missing Heart, Rewrite by Asian Kung-Fu Generation, READY STEADY GO! By L'arcenciel, Imaginary by Evanescence, the Toast Stoy, Krispy Kreme donuts, or the song For Fruits Basket, or that ghost story that Motoko tells. That's either a Japanese story or property of CLAMP, although the details are a bit modified.**

Part 4-The Horriffic Hotsprings

**MOTOKO-** That was one heck of a plane ride!

**RAVEN-** I liked the part when the giant weenies attacked us...

**EDWARD-** It was cool when that evil mutant toast got me my automail arm and leg back.

**MOTOKO-** And you all thought that mutant toast was a bad idea!

**ICHIGO-** I could've sworn that those were oranges floating outside our window singing "Dance with us! Dance with us into oblivion..."

**MOTOKO-** It was!

**RAVEN-** Well, let's go get Al and the luggage and get going.

**ROY-** That's a good idea.

_(So Ed, Raven, Motoko, Ichigo, and Roy went to the luggage pick up and got their luggage, only Al wasn't there because he went to go look for them getting off the plane so they ended up going back and forth 4 times before they ran into each other which is odd because Al's a giant suit of armour and...oh, back to the fanfic.)_

_(Everyone soon comes to a very nice Japanese-style hotsprings hotel)_

**MOTOKO- **Hey! It just occured to me that parts of this fanfic need changing. pulls out big eraser

**RAVEN- **How so?

**MOTOKO-** Well, there are lots of typos...

**RAVEN-** How would that effect anything?

_(Motoko erases the word 'effect' in the last sentence and writes 'affect')_

**RAVEN-** How would that affect anything?

_(Motoko erases Al)_

**EDWARD-WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR!**

**MOTOKO-** Well, I thought that this fanfic was getting boring...

**EDWARD-SO YOU KILLED OFF MY BROTHER!**

**MOTOKO-** No, I just decided to give Al a human body for a few chapters.

**EDWARD-** Oh. That's okay...I guess...can I have my real arm and leg back then?

**MOTOKO-** No! Only problem is...I can't really draw Al that well.

**HIROMU ARAKAWA-SAMA-** I can help!

**MOTOKO-** Hiromu Arakawa-sama!

_(Arakawa-sama draws human Al)_

**MOTOKO- **Yay!

**ALPHONSE-** Yay!

**EDWARD-** Yay! Now, Arakawa-sama, d'ya think you could give me back my real arm and leg for a while...?

**HIROMU ARAKAWA-SAMA-** No!

**EDWARD-** AND WHY THE HELL NOT!

**HIROMU ARAKAWA-SAMA-** So Winry won't complain to us!

**RAVEN-** Ah. Makes sense.

_(Hiromu Arakawa-sama disapears in a poof of smoke)_

**ICHIGO-** That was cool.

**RAVEN-** Yeah.

**MOTOKO-** Yay verrily.

**ICHIGO- **What do ya wanna do now?

_(Roy Mustang walks in doorway, carrying a lot of luggage)_

_(Roy sees human Al)_

**ROY-** Did I miss something?

**ICHIGO-** Nah...

**ROY-** Yes I did. I know I did. The chapter is practically half over, and Al is human again.

**MOTOKO-** Do you have any proof!

**ROY-** Yes. points to Al

**MOTOKO-** You think you're so smart!

**ROY-**Yes.

**MOTOKO-** STOP CONFUSING ME!

**ROY-** No.

**MOTOKO-** KYAAAAAAH!

_(Motoko passes out)_

**RAVEN-** Finally!

_**(I think now would be a good time to explain the dangers of scurvy. Scurvy is a disease I guess that supposedly occurs when you don't get enough vitamin C or something. Vitamin C is milk and oranges and stuff. The first case of scurvy was in 1541 or something. Scurvy can mess up your bones and organs and stuff, but you probably won't get it if you're under 7 months old. If you're under 7 months old, X out this page and find a nice, K rated fic to read, because this one is T. Scurvy can eventually lead to hemorrhages and sudden death. So eat fruits and drink milk and you'll be A-OK!)**_

**RAVEN-** What on Earth was that about!

**ICHIGO-** My thoughts exactly.

**ALPHONSE-** I really don't know.

**EDWARD-** Me either.

**ROY-** It was about scurvy.

**MOTOKO-** That's what happens when the author is unable, unwilling, or unavaliable to write. Random info comes up.

**ICHIGO-** Is it gonna happen again?

**MOTOKO-** It won't not happen again.

**RAVEN-** This concept of 'scurvy' confuses and infuriates me! I'm off to the onsen!

**ICHIGO-** Good idea.

**MOTOKO-** Yeah!

_(At some sort of lobby thing to check into the onsen-majigger)_

**HOTEL DRONE-** Okay, Your reservations for a party of 6 to the name Ms.Oterai are valid. (Oterai means toilet in Japanese. Motoko made reservations under 'oterai' as a joke, but the punchline's kinda in the wrong spot --;;)

**MOTOKO­**- Hee hee.

**HOTEL DRONE-** Okay. I'll need your ages...

**ROY-** I'm 22.

**HOTEL DRONE-** No, you're not.

**ROY-** 26?

**HOTEL DRONE-** Yeah, I'll buy it. Close enough, anyway.

**EDWARD-** 15.

**ALPHONSE-** 14.

**RAVEN-**15.

**ICHIGO-**14.

**MOTOKO-**14!

**HOTEL DRONE-** Okay. Here at the Kaoru Mizu hotel, we have a different way to stop perverts from spying on other people glares at Roy (Kaoru Mizu means Fragrant Water. Kinda a weird name for a hotel...)

**ROY-** What?

**HOTEL DRONE-** Okay. The onsen's here are seperated by age, children under 8 stay with their parents in the small childern onsen. Children is 9-14...

**MOTOKO-** Okay...

**HOTEL DRONE-** Young adult is 15-25, and adult is 26+. hands people little ticketey-thingys

**ROY-** Damn! If only I had lied one year younger...

_(Aww...poor Roy. You almost kinda feel a wee bit bad for him. Maybe not D...oh...meanwhile at the children's onsen...)_

**MOTOKO-** Blah blah blah blah!

**ICHIGO-** Blah blah blah.

**MOTOKO-** Blah.

**ICHGIO-** Blah?

**ALPHONSE-** Umm...why are you guys talking like that?

**MOTOKO- **Blah!

_(Hmm...very interesting. Let's see what Ed and Raven are up to...)_

**EDWARD-** -- ...

**RAVEN-** 0/0 ...

_(Hm. Okay then. I wonder what Roy is doing, although we can assume it is boring and repetative. Let's watch!)_

_(Roy is all alone except for some old hag named Mavis)_

**ROY-** If only I had lied one year younger...

_(Roy goes to spy on some pretty girls in the young adults onsen)_

**MAVIS-** HYYYAH! hits Roy Mustang very very hard

**ROY-** What the hell was that for!

**MAVIS-** You pervert! That'll teach you too spy on my granddaughters! It just so happend that I am a master of Tae Kwon Do! HYYYYYYYYYA!

_(Mavis continues to beat Roy up.)_

**ICHIGO-** Blah blah blah! ((Go Mavis!))

_(Later...)_

**MOTOKO-** examining ticketey-thingys Well, that contest I won pays for one night hotel reservations for me and 5 friends...

**ICHIGO-** Quite coincidentally.

**MOTOKO-** ...it's 2 bedrooms, and all purpose traditional Japanese room for, like, ghost stories and what have you. And free kareoke (sp?) in the bar at 7. That goes till 9, I guess...Oh! Hey! Free food, too!

**RAVEN-** The kareoke (sp?) sounds like fun...at 7. What time is it now?

**ROY-** checks watch 6:30.

**MOTOKO-** Yeah, singing is great and all, but you guys aren't looking at the big picture!

**ICHIGO- ** What the hell does that mean!

**MOTOKO-** Food! pulls out large picture of a donut

**EDWARD-** I haven't said anything in a while...

**ALPHONSE-** Me either.

**RAVEN-** Well, let's get going to that kareoke (again...sp?)

**MOTOKO-** Okay! jumps down stairs Wheeeeeeeeeee!

**ICHIGO-** Umm...Toko-chan? The bar is right here.

**MOTOKO-** I'm okay!

_(Some 23 minutes later at the kareoke (sp?) place)_

**MOTOKO- **Okay, it looks like they have a lot of music...good, good.

**ROY-** picks up Fullmetal Alchemist soundtrack Hey! What the hell is this!

**MOTOKO-** Ummm...er... whispers to Raven This is really gettin' hard to explain, Nee-san ((If any of you are wondering why I call my sister 'nee-san' it is because 'nee-san (-chan, -sama...)' and 'oneechan (-san,-sama...) means 'older sister'. If you think I am calling her 'Brother', you are thinking of the word 'Nii-san' or 'Oniisan'))

**RAVEN-** Uh...er...eh...hm. Hey, Roy! You should sing that song! points to Asian Kung-Fu Generation's song 'Rewrite' on CD case.

**ROY-** I don't know that song..

**MOTOKO-** I can fix that!

_(Motoko pulls out giant pencil and stabs Roy through head)_

**ROY FANGIRLS-** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**RAVEN-** Why the hell did you do that!

**ICHIGO-** Is he dead?

**ROY-** twitch twitch

**EDWARD-** Yay! sings Ding-dong the witch is dead...

**ALPHONSE-** ...!

**MOTOKO-** Aw, relax. All I did was altar his memories a little...just so now he knows the song.

**RAVEN-** YOU CAN DO THAT!

**MOTOKO-** erases everyones memories of insane pencil antics

**EDWARD-** What were we doing...?

**MOTOKO-** Heh heh heh...my secret lives on another day!

**For a moment, I would like to point out that whenever I say someone is speaking, I write out their entire first name. I would also like to add that I am quite sick of doing this. So, from here on out, whenever Al or Ed talk, the speaking tags will be written as 'AL-' or 'ED-' as opposed to 'ALPHONSE-' or 'EDWARD-'. You know their names by now. Okay? Same goes for any other people we meet in the future.**

**MOTOKO-** I guess I'll go first...hm...

_(puts song 'DDR-Moonlight Shadow by Missing Heart in machine doesn't even bother to try to spell 'kareoke' anymore'.)_

**MOTOKO-** sings _The trees that whisper in the evening_

_carried away by a moonlight shadow_

_sing a song of sorrow and grieving_

_Carried away by a moonlight shadow. _thinks I wonder if Krispy Kreme is open now...

**MACHINE- Your score...on that song was...69 **(Wah. No joke intended. If you do not understand the joke, you are lucky. Just ignore the number, kay?)

**MOTOKO- ** I'd say that's pretty good!

**RAVEN-** thinking That was pretty good! saying Good job, Toko-chan!

**ICHIGO-** thinking Is that a DDR song...? saying Yay Motoko!

**ROY-** thinking I didn't know she liked to sing... saying That was pretty good.

**ED-** thinking What the hell is that thing! saying points at kareoke (sigh...) machine What the hell is that thing!

**AL-** thinking That was really good! saying That was good, Motoko!

**MOTOKO- ** Okay...who wants to go next? dead silence Okay. Let's settle this the only way humanly possibe-alphabetical order! thinks Rr... thinks hard Uwa... thinks too hard GWAUGH! WHO IS FIRST ALPHEBETICALY!

**RAVEN-** Al is.

**MOTOKO-** Okay. Whaddya wanna sing, Al?

**AL-** Um...actually, I really don't like singing. Is it okay if I don't?

**MOTOKO-** Ah...you're so damn cute!

_(Motoko hugs Al)_

**MOTOKO-** Wheeee!

**AL-** Aaah!

_(Motoko knocks a few tables over)_

**MOTOKO-** Heh heh...oops.

**AL-** Ow. --

**MOTOKO-** So who's gonna go next? more dead silence

**ROY-** I will!

**ROY FANGIRLS-** He's so daring!

**ICHIGO-** Ah...shuddup!

**ROY-((these lyrics are strictly authors guess)) **sings _Geshka se...mirai dohshte_

_Ekawa idetsumo kimi wa daie deka tenshi saranan_

thinking I did good. I know I did good.

**MACHINE- Your score...on that song was...95.**

**ROY FANGIRLS-** He's so talented!

**MOTOKO-** thinks I'm kinda hungry... says ...

**RAVEN-** thinks Wow. he's _really _good at this! says Wow! You did really good!

**AL-** thinks Who knew the Colonel could sing so well... says That was awesome!

**ED-** thinks Damn him! says ...

**ICHIGO-** thinks That actually was pretty good. says You're good at this!

**((It's not done yet, but almost...))**


End file.
